Double Take

You see some peculiar things, do a double take then keep walking...

Japan good...

Japan baaaad! (inflammatory sticker provided by Madeleine Marx Bentley)

 

No idea.

 

Can you see what they are...?

Take a closer look...

 

YES! Teeny tiny turtles in little plastic balls!??!!

Doggie avec pedi

 Turtle in a glass bowl on a coffee shop step. Looks happy, non? In Kindergarten last week, the Chinese teacher showed me a picture and asked me how to say 'turtle' in English. When I told her she started laughing and said 'Yum I like to eat!' They know how to push my buttons.

 

 

Medical Mettle

Well that was a riot. I had been feeling a little under the weather for around two weeks. I put it down to a little overindulgence plus pollution plus a general change in absolutely every facet of my life; from diet to operating hours, work, habits and pretty much anything else you can think of.  

Anyway, during one of my morning classes in Xugou I suddenly felt incredibly odd and realised I needed to beat a hasty retreat to the conveniences. Like a true pro, I managed to execute the evacuation of my stomach contents in between two classes. I strolled into my next class nonchalantly with no visible clues to my recent emergency other than my pasty complexion and my wild eyes. I made it through most of the class by sitting down in amongst the students, which was weird, and making them write as many words as they could think of beginning with A. Then B. Then C... (you get the picture)before having to run out again to spend some quality time with my head down the toilet.

One serious downside to this episode, apart from all of it, is that the toilets in school are a sight to behold. Have you ever seen Trainspotting? The scene with The Worst Toilet In Scotland sprang to mind so I took a sharp left and ran to my bosses' private quarters to use a reasonably clean version of a western bog.

Feeling like someone had crushed my ribs and poured molten tomato soup in my brains, I crawled to the staff room and promptly fell asleep for two hours. When I awoke I was delighted to discover that I felt ten times worse. I have guts of steel so I knew that this wasn't some kind of namby pamby reaction to some 'bad food'. I never get sick from food and extremely rarely from booze so this had to be something nasty. It took an hour for me to get myself together enough to walk to a taxi with the reluctant aid of the receptionist and take the ride back to Xinpu and the shiny grey walls of Hospital Number 1. While I waited for Mrs He to meet me I watched an ambulance screech up and three guys smoking fags, in regular clothes, acted the part of paramedics and wheeled an unconscious guy with what looked to be serious head injuries into the main hall. Here some doctors, nurses, fag smoking attendants and some curious bystanders all stood around said head-injury man and chatted for a while with no apparent sense of urgency. Then Mrs He arrived and berated me as she'd been waiting in a different part of the hospital for twenty minutes. Silly me for not knowing the layout of an establishment I had never visited before, with signs I could not read, in a foreign land whilst battling to keep myself together long enough to make it to my bed. Ironically it turned out that I was standing directly outside the consulting room in which I was to Be Consulted. Anyway...  

We went to the reception where I paid around 20 kuai for the pleasure of telling the receptionist what was wrong with me so that she could direct me to the room that I had just been waiting outiside. We entered the room where a doctor was sitting atop a small mound of fag butts. Another lady was already in there but that didn't perturb Mrs H. She sat me down and barked information at the Doc. I handed over some more money and he did all of the usual Doc things, then sent me off to the corridor where there was a raised wooden chair at a window in the wall, like  cross between a commode and an ancient stairlift. I sat, gingerly gave the nice man in a white coat my hand and he took some blood. More money.

Back to the Doc and I waited for my results as a series of other people came in with their ailments and Doc tended to them as I sat shivering, sweating, swaying in my chair and dreaming of my duvet. Whilst this was happening, Mrs H stroked my hair, brought the heater close enough to my leg that my jeans almost caught fire and greeted some people from the school that came to have a good look at the sickly waiguoren. There must have been at least six people in my little consulting room at one point, all talking, all bustling about and all getting right on my tits.

My bloods came back - it was a virus of some kind. Flu? H1N1? Morte? I also had swollen glands and a fever. Due to the language barrier, this was all I could ascertain about the state of my health. Doc filled out some bits of paper which had pretty pictures of hospitals and flowers upon them, and indicated this would require more money for the prescription. I was taken to a different hole in the wall and was handed a variety of Chinese meds to be taken at an inconceivable variety of times in a magical array of combinations, by what appeared to be a dismembered pair of latex gloves. Each little room or hole seemed to have a pretty good racket going on with their stabbing and writing and pill dispensing.

We left the hospital and by now I was feeling exhausted and was becoming increasingly weepy, like a big foreign baby. Mrs H insisted on walking me to the nearest pharmacy to buy more meds as the hospital didn't give me enough and this pharmacy was cheaper. More mulah. Mrs H then insisted we walk to the school so that she could make me hot water and make me take my meds. Why I couldn't do this all by my big grown up self in the tranquillity of my gaff I do not know, but I appreciated the concern so off to school we went. As with all Chinese things, there are a swarm of people everywhere, so I sat in amongst a load of screaming kids and chattering adults and the noise form the main road as I drank the vile concoction given to me. By this point I had already wept into my sweaty scarf on more than one occasion for no other reason than I felt so feeble and just wanted to lay down and close my eyes, so I let Mrs H take me by the hand and lead me around this hideous merry-go-round of noise and needles and walking and money dispensing as I knew, at the end of it, I could sleep.

As an added bonus, I was locked out of my apartment as I have someone staying with me for a week and only one set of keys. I thought this might be the last straw and my sanity would explode in a dusty grey cloud, right there, in the middle of the day, but was saved by a kindly friend who lived very near. I extricated myself with enormous difficulty from the melé and walked at a snails pace to Madeleine's apartment where I was duly provided with pillows, warmth, some telly and a good dose of tea and sympathy whilst I happily lay on her ridiculously uncomfortable wooden sofa (why, Madeleine? WHY?!) in silence, as I awaited the return of my keys.

The whole episode from vomit #1 to the safety of the wooden sofa took around seven hours and cost somewhere in the region of 250 kuai (£25). To be fair, the hospital were efficient and Mrs H was a star. I am reserving judgment on all other parties involved as I was called at 7:30 (the first of around 13 phone calls) the next morning by my boss, one of the Chinese teachers and even one of my students to see why I wasn't in work and could I kindly get my butt over there pronto. As it happens I was in no fit state to even get to work, let alone stand and 'teach' for seven hours. I spent the day vomiting/sleeping/recovering and later that evening was awarded with even more generosity when Michele brought some noodle soup and easy company. Mid soup, the first thing that I'd attempted to eat in 48 hours, I received an entirely expected unexpected unannounced visit from Mrs H and Mr Fixit to berate me for not going to work. Jeez louise - it's hard to be ill here!

Xugou

The school in which I work is around 40km away in Xugou. I enjoy working in a different city and it has afforded me the luxury of getting to know Lianyungang better. I have a two hour lunch break on a Saturday, so once I have stuffed my face with Mr Yu's exceptional cooking, I go exploring.

Kids' pottery painting tent

 

 Sesame bread. It's sweet and greasy and delicious and costs 2 kuai (20p)

Smallest shop in the world?

Xugou is on the coast and it has a different feel to Xinpu. It feels breezy and open. The street food differs slightly and you can get a whole array of delicious goodies for next to nothing. I have one rice lady that I go to on a Sunday when Mr Yu is off. She serves up enough for two people and it costs me 8 kuai (80p).

I also have a favourite rice cake lady who sells little cakes with various fruity toppings for 2 kuai (20p). Another cart I frequent sells banana pancakes for 1 kuai (10p). I try to walk past his cart on the way home from work but the smell is so intoxicating my defences dissipate and I buy three.

 Bananaman

There's a fantastic market in the middle of the city that sells everything from fruit, veg, meat, eggs and spices to bikes and shoe repairs.

I've got crabs

Not all in one basket

 Goo goo ga joob

The beach is as expected. Filthy. Even though at first appearances it looks pretty, thanks to the heavy industry of the docks there is no way on earth you would want to venture into the sea. The biggest nuclear power plant in China, Tianwan Nuclear Power Plant, is situated near here and a whole host of industrial activities go through Xugou.

 

 

 

Just walking around is an adventure. People are unbelievably friendly and are eager to talk to you. The Chinese are the least bellicose company I have ever kept. The mutual curiosity makes every day fascinating. People will call out 'Hello' in the hope of getting a response. Chatting to strangers is a rewarding way to while away the hours and  invariably leads to a new discovery or some good food or an experience that you can take with you.

 

It is still not warm but the season is definitely changing. Colour is appearing everywhere and the sun appears every few days to lift the gloom.

China seems to be in a permanent state of construction. In Lianyungang there are the usual building sites plus the development of the BRT bus system. The unusual thing about these sites are that the gangs are always made up of many women. People come into the cities from the provinces to work on whatever project needs to be worked on. All of the women look incredible as they wear beautiful headscarves in an array of different bright colours.

 This lady was too shy to have her portrait taken but she let me photograph her scarf from behind.

Every moment is an adventure. Simply stepping outside the door is concomitant to experiencing China in its fullest and richest form.